Our personal success likely depends upon how well we manage and nurture the significant relationships in our lives. My previous blog touched upon EI—Emotional Intelligence—how managing one’s own emotions and taking cues from other’s emotions helps to successfully navigate all of the relationships in our lives. Another tool in fostering those skills can be found by exploring the five love languages as identified by Gary Chapman to improve personal and familial relationships. http://www.5lovelanguages.com/
Today I’d like to discuss why the study of relationships is a passion of mine, and why I feel it’s so important for people to develop and nourish the various relationships in their lives. I believe that the quality of our relationships dictate both our happiness and success. The three P’s of key relationships in many of our lives are Parental (or whomever raised you), Partnership, and Professional.
Parental: If we look back on the first meaningful relationships in our lives, it’s with our parents or whoever raised us. Those impressions and experiences have a profound influence on how we live our lives and the choices we make. As we grow and mature, our relationships impact our learning experiences and also influences our sense of happiness. This is true both personally and professionally. Ultimately, we create success in many areas of our lives by the trial and error of developing and sustaining meaningful relationships.
Partnership: Let’s take a look at the partnership relationship. Fox News Health reported on a study which showed that individuals in happy marriages had lower levels of the stress hormone cortisol, as compared with single or divorced participants. Elevated levels of cortisol can lead to infection, which is tied to various chronic ailments like heart disease, diabetes and cancer. http://www.foxnews.com/health/2017/02/14/7-health-benefits-being-in-happy-marriage.html According to the study, benefits for those happily married include:
May enjoy overall longer lasting life
May be better protected from heart disease and stroke
May fare better after surgery
May age more happily
For example, my sister has been in a long-term marriage where they love one another and continue to be each other’s best friend. They laugh and joke with one another, travel together, and just hang out alone or with friends. They enjoy the glow of good health (minor aches and pains notwithstanding), and are appreciating life. Although my sister and I are products of divorce, no one in her husband’s immediate family has ever divorced. A good marriage is not the cure for whatever ails you, but research supports the concept that those in good marriages enjoy the success of better mental and physical health.
Professional: The third “P” is professional. My grad school thesis was on the positive career results of black women who had mentors. That research examined the connection between employees’ job growth, promotions and salary increases, with having mentors and positive relationships with supervisors. I concluded that there was a good body of research that supports the idea that connections forged through positive relationships with supervisors, and mentoring, opens doors to greater opportunities. Some of that research also supported that many successful professionals attributed much of their career achievement to their mentoring relationships. To that point, I share a quote from Oprah Winfrey regarding mentorship:
“I think mentors are important and I don’t think anybody makes it in the world without some form of mentorship. Nobody makes it alone. Nobody has made it alone. And we are all mentors to people even when we don’t know it.”
Productive parental connections, good marriages or loving partnerships, professional mentorship, as well as positive supervisory/subordinate relationships are all examples—but by no means exhaustive—of connections that contribute to our overall well-being and success, and shows us how to create success through relationships. What are some of the great relationships that are impacting your life in a meaningful way?!I would love to hear from you.